It Takes More Than You Think

I've read all the blogs of these fucking foreigners that come here to make Aliyah. Much respect to them because I'm seeing first hand that this isn't easy. But let me tell you something about what it's like to make Aliyah. You get here and you're excited, you feel like you're fulfilling your dream. Fantastic. Good for you. The blogs that you read are by the people who decide to snub the happy and padded life they have set out for them in order to be brave and sacrifice and serve in an army that they're not obligated to serve in. Most of the people I've seen making Aliyah are running from something. They're not here to join the military or get the most out of life, they're here to get an easy way out and try to leave the fuck ups in their home country behind them. The others are trying to escape the poverty and crime of where they're from. There's the occasional person who seems to be making Aliyah out of choice and not because they'd be crazy not to, and occasionally there's someone like me who just wants to go to the army. I assume that most of the people that read this blog feel more or less like that.

You are not special. Thousands upon thousands of people make Aliyah every year. Even though you're the only person in your group of friends who has decided to undertake this crazy mission to join a foreign army, a decision that no one understands, you are not special. Your friends that you make in Israel are going to be mostly other olim (especially if you don't speak Hebrew) and they are going to be more commendable than you because they are coming here as a last ditch resort to escape whatever living conditions they left behind. You will be respected in the army; Israelis will respect what you're doing. But you aren't unique or the first of your kind or one in a million.

I wish I had known before I made Aliyah how slow the drafting process would be. Unless you are doing garin tzabar or Machal, prepare to jump through a lot of hoops and sit on your ass for a long time (1 year on average) before you go to the army. After the first few months the energy and motivation that you had will dissipate. You will be left with nothing but your true and unshakable beliefs about your decision, and they might not be as strong as you think. You might still want to go to the army, but all of a sudden your dreams about Sayeret Matkal vanish and you just want to get your part over with and go to college already.

You think that you'll pick up Hebrew without even trying because you are in Israel but you'll realize after several months that you haven't been giving the learning process its due attention, and if you're the least bit mature you should at least take responsibility for your lack of dedication.

I'm not going to sit here and be one of those blogs that goes on and on about how fulfilling making Aliyah is when you are fucking EIGHTEEN-YEARS-OLD. I had college before me, a future, the approval of both sides of my family, but I decided to take the road the less traveled that is supposedly more rewarding. I do believe that it's more rewarding but I also believe that the pay-off is a long way from here, and these five months on my kibbutz ulpan have been both the slowest and fastest of my entire life.

Don't get me wrong--I made the right decision for myself. I have no doubts about that. Consider this post a warning for what happens when the novelty wears off--when it dawns on you that the next three years of your life are going to be spent without freedom and at the whim of the government of Israel, NOT the people. You join the army here for the people, no doubt, the but the army is ran by the fucking politicians. I've had a soldier tell me personally that illegal weapons were used in Gaza. We're moral out here, and Israel receives a lot of false accusations in the media, but not everything Israel says to defend itself is true. Sometimes Israel does, in my opinion, things that are justified, but they won't be honest about in the NY Times. Are you still prepared to fight? Does getting a job or going to college with the rest of your friends sound better? If it does, I don't blame you.

If you still think that deep in your heart you want to do this, then come over here and I'll buy you a drink. I mean that. But if you don't have what it takes and if you make Aliyah without 100% certainty, it'll really screw things up for you. You might not ever be able to come back to Israel, for starters. Maybe you'll have missed the college application season or that job that you could take has been filled.

This is a dream come true, but unlike dreams, there's a prices to pay and sacrifices to be made. Are you prepared? You better ask yourself before you do something stupid; I've seen how pathetic the people that make Aliyah without thinking about it are. And I have nothing but the utmost contempt for people that decide that making Aliyah was a mistake and then never pay the money back that the government gave them. As far as I'm concerned, they're petty thieves stealing from a country with very limited resources that is being more than generous. Don't be one of those people. There are too few Jews out there for us to just sit back and not defend our one little state that's the size of a postage stamp. It's not just the army here that is hard-- it's the lifestyle. You have to work very hard to make ends meet in Israel, at least harder than what I observed living right outside New York City.

Tsav Rishon

The beginning of an Israeli's conscription starts with the “tsav rishon” which means “first order.” It's not when you start your service but rather when the IDF starts to profile you. I just had mine the other day. I received a letter in the mail with free public transportation tickets that said when I needed to come to the “lishkat gius” or “draft center.” For anyone who's volunteering for the IDF, you will go through this.

All in all, it was pretty boring being there because of the ridiculous wait times but as a whole it excited me because I felt like I was that much closer to donning the uniform. I had been looking forward to this for a month, and when I got the call-up in the mail I was thrilled. When I arrived to the draft center I was sent upstairs to do a quick interview in English where I signed away my rights that made me exempt from conscription and stated that I wanted to be drafted as soon as possible.

After that I went back to the first floor where I received a scannable card and was told to go to upstairs to a different floor from before. Whereas there was hardly anyone in the last waiting area, I couldn’t believe how many people were waiting on this new floor, especially since I had arrived before eight o’clock, right as the damn place opened! My recommendation for people who are going to do this is to arrive at the draft center as soon as possible. Our waiting area was a thin, cramped, bland hallway with stock photos of smiling soldiers. The whole thing was lined with chairs and doors into several offices, the most of which I'll probably never know about. There was about thirty or forty people and it quickly filled up to two or three times that. There wasn’t even room to display my name on the list on the computer screen at first because so many people were signed in before me.

I was finally called in and did an interview entirely in Hebrew. The room was filled with several long desks each with isolated booths to conduct a face-to-face interview, with barriers separating each interview area. Every single desk was filled as I walked in, and even though it seemed so chaotic at the same time it felt like everything was going exactly the way it was supposed to. The system has been doing this for many years and everyone working there knew what they were doing. During the interview I had to answer questions about my life, what it was like for me back home, how I’m coming along in Israel, and things of that nature. While I struggled, it was a big confidence boost to see that I could do everything in Hebrew albeit with some patience from the other side of the table.

The most important thing to understand about the tsav rishon is that anything you want from the army like chayal boded status or to have a certain job is almost completely irrelevant here. The tsav rishon is solely for putting together a profile of you and your potential as a soldier.

After that interview I scanned my card at the next station, which was for a psychometric exam. The exam is available in several different languages. At the draft center I went to in Haifa, there is a little place right next to the entrance to go eat. I recommend you take advantage of it before you take the test because they don’t mind waiting for people to take their time to go eat, smoke, or use the bathroom before hand, in fact it was encouraged. You can only take the test once and it’s an important part of your profile so give yourself every advantage you can.

Next I had to go pee in a cup, but for the life of me I couldn’t so I bought a bottle of water from the aforementioned store and chugged it. After half an hour I still couldn’t go. It came to my attention that there were free vending machines for us so I got another water and chugged that too. In due time I had to piss, and to my dismay after that I had to piss every ten minutes. I finally arrived to the last station which involves getting checked by a doctor, but unfortunately there wasn’t enough time for him to see me. I couldn’t believe it. I was one of the first to arrive, yet somehow ended up dead last on the waiting list. It might of had something to do with the fact that I wasted half-an-hour checking into the computer for the girls only doctor. Don’t fault me, everything was labeled in Hebrew. Between that and taking so long to pee, I can see how I ended up last, and now I have to wait until I get invited to the draft center for my second order to see the doctor. It’s frustrating because until I get checked I can’t recieve a score for my physical health profile, which is critical for determining if I’m fit for a combat unit and also for signing up for "yom sayerot," which is another post entirely.

Overall it was an interesting experience interspersed with a LOT of waiting time. I spent a lot of time studying the finer aspects of my teudat zehut (ID card) and playing games on my phone. Also, it was hard not speaking Hebrew. Sometimes a soldier would walk out and explain something to us and I'd have to ask for an explanation in English. I wouldn't say it was embarrassing but I certainly felt like my tail was between my legs, as they say. The most important parts of the day were the interview in Hebrew and the psychometric exam. If you are going to be a future Israeli soldier, don't sweat the tsav rishon, and try to enjoy it and take it all in while you're there, because it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and also you are that much closer to putting on the uniform.