There are a few key differences between my blog and his that I noticed. He made Aliyah (Hebrew for "ascension," it's when the government assists your immigration to Israel) after college. Even from his first posts back in 2007, he clearly has a maturity that comes with age that I don't have yet. His reasons for going to Israel are much more founded on ideology a lot more than mine are. As in, he's a Jew, Israel is home to the Jews, our land was taken away from us for 2000 years, I should do my part in defending it. Also, religion played a large part in his decision to make Aliyah. Don't get me wrong, I take immense pride in my Jewish heritage but for me, personally, God has nothing to do with it. It's just me and my people. If God is up there it would be nice if he sent a postcard every once in awhile.
However, we do share in the sense of adventure. He said that what it comes down to is he wants an adventure. I couldn't agree more. I see too many people with boring fucking lives who talk all day about the shit they could be doing, wish they were doing, and I get infuriated because I'm thinking WHAT THE FUCK IS STOPPING YOU?? YOURSELF, THAT'S IT! Seriously, I've had people tell me how cool what I'm doing is, how they wish they could do the same thing. These are people I graduated HS with. You CAN do this, or something like it, you fucking morons. The guidelines for doing it are simple: just have a set of balls. Courage isn't being unafraid, it's doing shit that you know you have to do or want to even though you're fucking terrified. If you read this blog then you know how fucking scared I am right now. Yeah, I bitch about it here because that's what this blog is for, to vent what I'm feeling. But do I have any regrets? Fuck no. If I could go back a few months and make an enrollment deposit to college, and take the safe route, there's no fucking way that I would. I want to go college, but not right now. I made my decision and I'm sticking by it. Period.
Danny Brothers, the author of the blog I linked to above, said this in his first post:
I just want an adventure. I want to say I followed something, no matter what. I followed a conviction around the world, away from my family, and hopefully, created for myself a second home. I like good stories, especially when adventures mix with ideology...
That's it. That's all it fucking is. I try to live my life asking myself, what would an interesting character in a good work of literature do now? I don't pretend I'm a character in a novel, that's called narcissism, but since I like to write I've read a few how-to guides, and there's a consensus that an interesting character is not a timid character. They grab the bull by the horns. From Han Solo to Don Corleone to Huckleberry Finn, they all were people of action. Even in times of paralysis, they took the road less traveled, and that's what counts. That is, if you don't want to be bored to tears with your life and probably miserable about it also. I understand if you have a wife and kids and you eat shit at a soulless job so you can be at home with them, that's a different story. In fact, it's commendable.
But to all my friends that are my age, who have no long-term responsibilities and commitments, I have to wonder, are you going to float through life like this forever? Ever heard that simile that if the Earth's history was condensed to 24 hours, human civilization would be only a couple seconds long. That's ten-THOUSAND years of history, barely more than the time it will take you to read this sentence. Now imagine where your life fits in on that same 24 hour clock. Do you realize how little time you have?* I spent the first 18 years of my life being ridiculously timid. I learned my lesson. It's a law of physics that when a pendulum swings it will swing an equal distance in the opposite direction. I guess if you're always treading water instead of drowning, life lessons don't sink in as quickly, and it's almost worse that way.
This guy Danny Brothers made Aliyah and he didn't have any family or anyone in Israel to support him. That's impressive. Neither did Aaron Cohen, author of a great book, about an American who went to Israel to serve in the IDF, called Brotherhood of Warriors. I can only hope to live up to them. Even though the bottom line is that I'm going to Israel to be with my family, I kind of envy Danny. He said in his blog that he wished he had someone to turn to when he got to Israel, but at the same time recognized the opportunity of immigrating to a foreign country without anyone's help except his own. That's right, I said "opportunity," an opportunity for adventure, to face your fears. That's a really brave thing to do, and something that, for better or for worse, I'll never get to do. I'm not hanging my head though, this is by no means going to be easy. That adventure that I'm craving will still be there.
I can't wait to get on my flight. It should be in a couple weeks. Sparing you all the red tape, basically my application is in review, I should hear an answer in the next 2 weeks. I think it'll be fine though, but God damn, I can't wait to finally go to Israel, and get my life started. All I'm worried about now is getting to Israel. Everything else in my life is taking a back seat, including any doubts, which have all but disappeared.
UPDATE (7/5/09): Here's an absolutely hysterical entry that Danny Brothers wrote.
Read it, it's definitely worth your time.
*Has it sunk in it yet how fucking vital it is for you to seize every second of your life? Take a look at this picture. Read the excerpt of Carl Sagan. If you don't feel like reading, watch this amazing video. If that doesn't start to put things in to perspective for you, you need to take some time to think deeply on where your life is at this point, and if you're happy with it.
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